Jealousy in a relationship – how to deal with it?

Relationships
Jealousy in a relationship – how to deal with it?
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There is no love without jealousy – so says the popular adage. Does it hold true in real male-female relationships? Many people say no. Certainly there is no place for morbid jealousy, which needs to be fought beforehand. How do you do it? Here are some useful ways

Why are we jealous of our partner?

The reasons why jealousy appears are, of course, varied. The important thing is that it is identical to the feeling of fear of losing a partner. Jealousy is healthy when there is actually a threat that the relationship will end abruptly. Is such a feeling necessary in a relationship? Of course not, because it is better to avoid such situations. But their appearance is a proof that things are not going well in the relationship.

How does jealousy manifest itself?

The basic cause of the appearance of jealousy is that we imagine our beloved person in a relationship with someone else, and for this reason we experience a range of negative emotions. We would like to limit our partner as if we could exercise power over them. However, this is not a positive thing like caution, but something that degrades the relationship even further. As a result, upset, mutual resentment builds up and the two people grow even further apart.

Who is particularly prone to jealousy?

This feeling is more often present in people who:

  • have low self-esteem,
  • feel inferior to their partner and are dependent on their partner’s judgment,
  • reproduce negative patterns from the past (e.g., from their parents’ relationships),
  • are convinced that love is not unconditional, but that one must first deserve to be loved.

Interestingly – there is a disease entity that manifests itself in constant and pathological jealousy. This is the so-called Othello syndrome, where the affected person sees every activity of their partner as a sign of betrayal

Mark Rosenfeld – How to Deal With A Jealous Partner

How to deal with jealousy?

You can’t automatically and easily get rid of feelings of jealousy, but you can work on yourself to gradually calm and reduce negative emotions. How to do it?

Comparing yourself with others – don’t do it!

Feeling inferior to others directly causes jealousy. In what way? First of all, in the way that we feel less attractive, poorer, not as energetic or likeable than someone else. At the same time, it seems to us that the person we are with is just waiting to swap us for someone we feel inferior to. By constantly comparing, we translate our parents’ relationship history into our relationship with our current partner. So it seems that similar dangers may await us – even the departure of a partner. Instead, we should learn to live our own lives, not someone else’s

Believing in yourself

It’s important to focus on your strengths rather than constantly considering your weaknesses. This applies to both character traits and outward appearance

Mastery

Focusing solely on bad emotions can lead to obsession. This is a road to astray. Instead, you should try to control yourself and only then rationally assess the situation in the relationship.

Being aware of the impact of jealousy on the relationship

It is important to be able to recognize the damaging effects that jealousy has on a relationship. This prevents a kind of feedback loop that can cause jealousy to erode the relationship.

Not becoming dependent on the other person

Even if a relationship with a partner were to end, what? Would it actually be the end of the world? Of course not, and such a conviction needs to be developed in yourself. This will help you gain a healthy distance from how your relationship with your partner is shaping up.

Be honest

You should not, however, completely suppress your emotions. But if it is not worth reacting angrily and explosively, how to show your feelings in a relationship? Calmly, of course. Talk. This is a better way than silence and suppression, which will eventually end in an explosion.

Avoiding Jealousy

This is the best way. It is very important especially at the beginning of a relationship, when you usually cannot fully trust your partner. Then you have to be careful, because relationships are based on a very fragile foundation and you can easily alienate someone – even without bad intentions.

Photo Crew/Unsplash

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